The Weight of the Shepherd

By this time tomorrow evening, I will be an ordained minister in the Assemblies of God.   It is a moment I have dreamed about for years.   It was twenty years ago, this month,that I stood beside Jeff McFalls as he recieved his ordination in the Georgia District.  As my ordination draws near  I find my spirit burdened.   I'm excited, but the responsibility that comes with this ordination has been heavy on my mind as each day passes.

This past week, I found myself alone in the house, doing some editing and I ran across an old cd of one of Jeff's sermons.   It was titled, "A Calling and A Warning".   It grabbed my attention so I plugged it in.  Turns out it was one of his Wednesday night teachings.   Wednesdays were always a time of intimate teaching for him and what he shared on this particular night, though it was years before his death, hit me square between the eyes.

He spoke on Ezekiel 34...a passage that addresses those in ministry rather harshly.

1The word of the Lord came to me: 2“Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to you shepherds of Israel who only take care of yourselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? 3You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. 4You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. 5So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. 6My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.

In this passage, the Lord is addressing those who He has called to take care of his flock.   He is quite upset with them because they are not doing what they have been called to do.  Reading this again, made me look at my calling and do a gut-check evaluation of what God has called me to do.   I received my calling at 15 years of age.   When I married Jeff and we entered full time ministry, I thought I had fulfilled that calling.   But when he died, it became clear to me that those 25 years were only part of the calling.  God had something entirely different for me.

I wish I could tell you that I knew exactly how that was going to look for me...I can't.  I am thankful to have a supportive husband and that he is open for whatever direction the Lord leads us.   All I can say at this point is that I never want God to have to address me the way He did these priests in Ezekiel 34.   

To my fellow ordination candidates, I would implore you to read this passage.  Being an ordained minister is a calling.   It does not elevate us in any way.   It doesn't give us special rights and privileges...if anything, it calls for more sacrifice on our part.  We are called to be ministers...pastors...shepherds.   This is the most important thing we can do in life.   It comes with great honor, but it also comes with great responsibility.   Do not take this mantle lightly.   It is holy, it is heavy...but I would not want to do anything else with my life.

On one of our mission trips to Ecuador, our friend, Bill McDonald took us on a trip high in the mountains.   Scattered around the mountainside were these little shanty-sheds, no bigger than a doghouse or a small pump house.   They were too far away from any homes to be pump houses and I didn't think a dog house in the middle of a steep field made much sense, so I asked Bill what they were.  He explained to me that they were shepherd huts.   That the shepherds would leave the comforts of home for days at a time and face the elements to protect the sheep.   They would rest or seek shelter in these little shacks, while their flock grazed along the mountainside.   That visual picture is the picture I get when I think about the level of dedication we are called to.   We are called to the uncomfortable.   We are called to sacrifice...sometimes to even be pulled away from the comforts of home while watch over those entrusted in our care.   We are called to be diligent and watchful...looking for things that may attempt to snare one of these precious lambs.  Shepherds smell like sheep.   The calling is great, but so is the reward.

Tomorrow night, as that mantle is placed on my shoulders, I believe I will feel the weight of it differently.   I wouldn't change a thing...I am humbled and honored to be called to be a minister.   Lord, use me as you choose.   When you choose.   And where you choose.   Help me to be faithful to always answer Your call with a "yes" and to remember that the calling of shepherd comes with much responsibility.   Here I am, Lord...send me.