Our Journey (Post #31) Seeking a Second Opinion

Get a second opinion.   We've been told that over and over in the past year.  It seems that everyone knows someone who was dying of cancer, then they went for a second opinion and miraculously, they are now cancer free.   We are fighting this disease with all the strength and wisdom God gives us, so it was only natural that we would seek a second opinion.  But where does one start?

The information that is out there is very confusing but over and over, we were told to check out MD Anderson and Moffitt.  We set up an appointment with MD Anderson (our doctors already work with Moffitt so we feel like we are getting the benefit they can provide already).   The appointment was set for this past Friday in the morning.  Thursday morning we got our kids ready for school, packed our bags and headed out...thank you, Jesus, that we had a few tasks to complete before we could leave town.   After a trip to the post office and bank, we headed to the gas station to fill up.   Our tank was almost full when I heard Jeff's phone ring.   Then I heard, "Really?   Well, I gave you that information a month ago...(long pause), so you are saying that we shouldn't come...we cannot be treated there?  Ok, thank you."   He returned to the car and said, "Well, so much for that, we are going home."  Wait, back up the dog...what do you mean we are going home?   No, we are not!  We are going to get a second opinion!

Long story short, our insurance would not agree to cover any expenses at MDA so we were in fact NOT GOING.   From here the day grew a little comical.   Jeff made a call to our insurance company to find out what the problem was.   The lady on the other end explained to him that our policy was actually a HMO policy and that they "only cover treatment in Florida facilities".  Ok, MDA is in Orlando...you don't get anymore "Florida" than Orlando!!!   Oh, but we don't cover MDA!  We DO cover 53 hospitals in Florida and you can certainly seek treatment from any of those.   Ok, great...can you please give us the names of those facilities.   Absolutely, please give us your zipcode (why does that matter?)  So, he gives her our zipcode and she informs us that there are 2 hospitals that we can go to...Tallahassee Memorial and Capital Regional...are you kidding me???  He laughs, and then proceeds to tell her that we have already tapped into the best that Tallahassee has to offer...we need to see someone at a more specialized hospital...a facility that specializes in cancer research/treatment.   So, she widens her search.  After a few moments (and if she hadn't been on speaker phone I never would have believed it) she comes up with another (more hilarious) solution.   She says, "Oh, I see here that there is another facility in your area! (She was very excited!)   You can go to um, Calhoun-Liberty General in Blountstown, FL!"   Now, if you work there, this is NOT a slam on you...but exactly which general practicioner did she want us to seek a second opinion from?    I was born in this hospital (back when they still delivered babies), but now if you have more than a cold or a simple broken bone, you are NOT going to seek treatment at this facility.   For those of you who don't live in this area, I've included a picture!

It was at this point that we just began to laugh.   Okay God, we get it...we understand that our faith cannot be in any MAN's opinion...only in His!   

We are now unsure of what where we will go.   We are still pursuing a couple of options.   But this we understand.   God will open the door or doors He wants us to go through...we will NOT kick them down.   We have an incredible peace that He has this under control and that He will heal Jeff.   It is an indescrible peace that even if I used every word in my limited vocabulary, I could not find the right words to make you understand.

We have been so blessed!   Yesterday, our communtiy had a benefit on our behalf.  The numbers are still coming in but so far several thousand dollars have been raised to help with our medical expenses.   While that blows us away, the love that has been shown to us is even more special...you can't put a pricetag on that.   We have been overwhelmed by the friends and family who pray for us everyday.   People who just call or email or facebook us, just to say, we are praying for you...and you know that they mean it.   We are blessed beyond measure!    Pressed down, shaken together and RUNNING OVER!

Our God is awesome!   He has a sense of humor and keeps us laughing even in the most tense situations.   He is faithful, even when we are faithless!   No matter how bad our situation gets (or yours), if we will take time to look, we can see God's hand of blessing in the midst of it.   Oh God, help me to always look for your hand...without it, life is meanless and mundane.  But with it, I can face any storm!   

Oh, and by the way...why do we NEED a second opinion anyway?   God says he is healed!   Anything else is an "opinion" but when God says it...it is a FACT---Jack!

Our Journey (Post #30)

In Jesus Name, by Darlene Zscech, is a wonderful song!  A wonderful reminder that God is fighting for us and that we are victorious in Him!   As upbeat as I tend to be (by nature), that is something that I sometimes lose sight of.    I'm thankful tonight for the reminder.

In recent days, we have been dealing with the effects of Jeff's cancer progression.   His cough continues and now my asthma seems to be in overdrive.   When you battle that for a while, weakness is inevitable.   I'm so thankful though that God always sends me reminders when I grow weak.  Right now,  He has me studying about Gideon...someone who was characterized by fear, doubt and questioning.   Yet, in his weakness, God proved Himself strong.   He reminds me to trust Him through His word, through songs like this, and through friends who allow themselves to be used by Him.

Over the past couple of weeks (a time when I have struggled the most with believing), He has sent friends and even strangers to bless us and remind us that He has not forgotten.   A friend, out of the blue, gave us a weekend at the beach (which we will take in just a couple of weeks).  Another friend replaced our useless dishwasher with a brand new one.   Another sent me for a pedicure.  Others sent money or just did things that needed doing...just because.   A group of fellow business women set up a benefit for us and now several churches have joined in.   I really don't know how He could say, "I see where you are and I've got this" any louder.

Although I haven't doubted that God is in control, I sometimes do question whether I am just being overly optimistic.   Jeff said at one Dr. appt that I was in denial.   That I didn't want to talk about the possibility of him dying.   Well, I had to really take a hard look at myself.   I don't want to be in denial...there are things I need to learn to do and business I need to learn to handle.   But I still truly believe that God is going to heal him.   How do I find a balance between having faith and being realistic?   Is there a balance or are you just one way or another?   I don't have an answer for that one.   I just know that somewhere deep in my core, there is something that tells me that I have to trust God.   No matter what the doctor says, no matter what well meaning (but doubting) friends say, no matter what my husband even says...I just have to believe.   Unbelief is not an option for me.   That doesn't mean that I don't have doubts from time to time.   It doesn't mean that I have super-faith or that I don't experience fear and worry.   It does mean that when I feel that way, I run to Jesus.  

Like Gideon...when the things I am facing don't make sense...I will trust Him.   When my enemy appears to be overwhelming...I will trust Him.    When my plans are whittled away at by a God with a better plan...I will trust Him.   I trust Him...not because I have this great, unshakable faith, but because He is the only one I can trust.  Who else can I go to?   He's all I have...but He's all I need.  

Recently a friend talked with me about a struggle she was facing.   After many years in one line of work, she feels that God may be calling her to another line of work (that will result in a large pay cut and lifestyle change).   She is a believer, yet she really struggles with taking this leap of faith.   She was kind of beating herself up because even after putting out multiple fleeces and God answering each of them miraculously, she still is having a hard time with this.  We all face things that we have a hard time trusting God with.   Sometimes it feels like God is stripping away everything that would make believing easier.  But if we can somehow push through...trevail in prayer...relentlessly persue His presence.   Faith will come.   God is faithful!   He was for Gideon...He will be for me.   I will continue to trust Him.  " He is fighting for us, He is on our side, He has overcome.  I will live, I will not die. The resurrection power of Christ, alive  in me and I am free!!!  In Jesus Name!!"   Free from fear, free from doubt, free from sickness, free from death, FREE!   Free to believe!!!