In Jesus Name, by Darlene Zscech, is a wonderful song! A wonderful reminder that God is fighting for us and that we are victorious in Him! As upbeat as I tend to be (by nature), that is something that I sometimes lose sight of. I'm thankful tonight for the reminder.
In recent days, we have been dealing with the effects of Jeff's cancer progression. His cough continues and now my asthma seems to be in overdrive. When you battle that for a while, weakness is inevitable. I'm so thankful though that God always sends me reminders when I grow weak. Right now, He has me studying about Gideon...someone who was characterized by fear, doubt and questioning. Yet, in his weakness, God proved Himself strong. He reminds me to trust Him through His word, through songs like this, and through friends who allow themselves to be used by Him.
Over the past couple of weeks (a time when I have struggled the most with believing), He has sent friends and even strangers to bless us and remind us that He has not forgotten. A friend, out of the blue, gave us a weekend at the beach (which we will take in just a couple of weeks). Another friend replaced our useless dishwasher with a brand new one. Another sent me for a pedicure. Others sent money or just did things that needed doing...just because. A group of fellow business women set up a benefit for us and now several churches have joined in. I really don't know how He could say, "I see where you are and I've got this" any louder.
Although I haven't doubted that God is in control, I sometimes do question whether I am just being overly optimistic. Jeff said at one Dr. appt that I was in denial. That I didn't want to talk about the possibility of him dying. Well, I had to really take a hard look at myself. I don't want to be in denial...there are things I need to learn to do and business I need to learn to handle. But I still truly believe that God is going to heal him. How do I find a balance between having faith and being realistic? Is there a balance or are you just one way or another? I don't have an answer for that one. I just know that somewhere deep in my core, there is something that tells me that I have to trust God. No matter what the doctor says, no matter what well meaning (but doubting) friends say, no matter what my husband even says...I just have to believe. Unbelief is not an option for me. That doesn't mean that I don't have doubts from time to time. It doesn't mean that I have super-faith or that I don't experience fear and worry. It does mean that when I feel that way, I run to Jesus.
Like Gideon...when the things I am facing don't make sense...I will trust Him. When my enemy appears to be overwhelming...I will trust Him. When my plans are whittled away at by a God with a better plan...I will trust Him. I trust Him...not because I have this great, unshakable faith, but because He is the only one I can trust. Who else can I go to? He's all I have...but He's all I need.
Recently a friend talked with me about a struggle she was facing. After many years in one line of work, she feels that God may be calling her to another line of work (that will result in a large pay cut and lifestyle change). She is a believer, yet she really struggles with taking this leap of faith. She was kind of beating herself up because even after putting out multiple fleeces and God answering each of them miraculously, she still is having a hard time with this. We all face things that we have a hard time trusting God with. Sometimes it feels like God is stripping away everything that would make believing easier. But if we can somehow push through...trevail in prayer...relentlessly persue His presence. Faith will come. God is faithful! He was for Gideon...He will be for me. I will continue to trust Him. " He is fighting for us, He is on our side, He has overcome. I will live, I will not die. The resurrection power of Christ, alive in me and I am free!!! In Jesus Name!!" Free from fear, free from doubt, free from sickness, free from death, FREE! Free to believe!!!
Hi there. I am friends with Kara and Jeremy. I've been praying for Jeff since Jeremy told me of his diagnosis. My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 squamous cell cancer last September too. Sadly, my dad died of pulmonary toxicity on April 14 this year (side effect from radiation). Dad accepted Jesus the last week of his life. It was an awesome thing to witness. I'm not writing to make you sad that my dad died. I don't want my dads death to scare you. I'm not even sure why i'm writing, other than just to say hello and to tell you how much you're loved. God is love. You already know that. Whatever happens, I am praying for you. I am praying for Jeff. I am praying for your children. We don't know Jeff's future but God does and you are not alone. God doesn't break his promises.
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