I'll admit it. I'm getting old. And as I age, I find that my vision is changing. I've always been near sighted and had to wear glasses for seeing things in the distance. Recently, I've found that I have to remove my glasses to see things that are close...and sometimes, if something is too close, I just cant get it into focus at all. I am learning that this same principle applies in the spiritual as well as the physical.
Sometimes, when I am too close to the problem, I have a hard time "seeing" how I need to pray. I can't find the right words. If I find them, I can't get them out. I can trust God for other people, but when it comes to trusting for me, well...let's just say, it's not so easy.
Last week I posted about the possibility of Jeff's cancer beginning to grow again. Can I just tell you that we were very scared. The doctor thought that was what was happening. Jeff and I couldn't really even talk about it. It was the elephant in the room. I wanted to pray...but I couldn't find the words. I wanted to trust God, but I was so afraid. Thank God for friends during times like those. One of our friends texted me in the midst of that struggle and asked if he could arrange a prayer meeting for several area pastors to come and pray for Jeff. I said yes right away, because I knew we needed help...we no longer knew how to pray. Then, within just a few minutes, another friend reminded me that when we are close to the crisis, we need to let others who love us hold us up in prayer. It was another confirmation for me.
Over and over during the course of just a few days, friend after friend texted, messaged or called to remind us they were praying for us and for Jeff's healing. Thursday, I was sitting in the living room with Jeff and we were just being quiet...not really knowing what to say. A friend called to encourage us and share that she had been in prayer for us. After we hung up, I thanked God for so many friends who had called but honestly it worried me because I wondered if we were about to get some really bad news. Not ten minutes later, our phone rang again. This time it was Jeff's doctor who said, "Hey, I've got some good news for you! The tumors are still shrinking!" Much rejoicing followed as we gave God glory for his healing!
But on the hills of every victory, Satan is waiting to bring another trial. This time, it wasn't Jeff, it was one of my dearest friends. My friend who has stuck beside me through thick and thin. She has prayed for us and she has physically supported us. She has encouraged me and lifted me up when my spirits were low. A few weeks ago she began to experience some pain in her back. A trip to the doctor and some tests showed a large mass in her kidney. She had surgery after Christmas and had a kidney and the tumor removed. We were praying that would be the end of it. Yesterday, she had some complications and had to return to the ER. An emergency CT scan revealed that the cancer had spread. Today, her doctor confirmed that the road ahead of them will not be easy. By the end of the week, they will be at Moffitt and will be fighting a battle of their own.
They have stood alongside us for the past year and a half and encouraged us. I began calling out to God for her before I had a diagnosis...I knew from experience how hard it is to pray for yourself. Last night, we stood before our church as several pastors from other churches left there congregations to come pray for us. As they prayed, I couldn't pray for us...all I could think about was our friend. So I prayed that God would extend their prayers to cover her as well. "Lord, heal them both!"
Tonight, I spoke with my friend and she expressed the exact feelings that I have wrestled with for the last couple of weeks. That when you are close to the crisis, it is hard to believe for your miracle. You want to...but it is so hard. That is when you need friends, comrads in the faith, who will carry your burden. We have been blessed to have many...we will not hesitate to do that for our friend. My heart is broken for her tonight...I wish I could take her place. I cannot, but I can walk beside her. I can pray, I can believe, I can be strong.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Eccl. 4:9-10
Lord, let me be the kind of friend that you have blessed me with. One who will not just say, "I'm praying for you", but one who will commit to bombard heaven with petitions for healing. Help me stand in the gap for my friend. Let my vision be clear so that I might pray effectively and see Your hand when it moves.
Monday, January 20, 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Our Journey (Miracle needed)#38
Have you ever found yourself at one of those places in life where you need something and everyone around you seems to be getting it. Normally when that happens, it upsets me...I find myself sounding like a little kid who says, "How come she gets to have that and I can't?" Recently, however, I find that my reaction is much different...I must be growing up!
See, I am in need of the miraculous. I need Jeff to be healed. I have prayed and prayed and prayed. I've researched and studied, I've hung on the doctor's words (and his body language). But I find that what I need is for God to step in and do what no man can do. To simply touch my husband and heal him.
All my life, I have believed in miracles. I've seen them happen. I've prayed for barren women to have children, and just a few weeks later learned that they were carrying a baby. I've prayed for headaches to go away and they have. When I was in college, I prayed for God to do the miraculous and get my college bill paid...He provided every penny plus 50 cents that I could buy a Coke with. I've seen him heal sick people, deliver people from addiction, restore marriages that were impossible to restore, and provide for needs in ways that could not be explained in human terms. So you cannot convince me that miracles are a figment of my imagination. I've seen them with my own eyes.
Right now, I need one! Jeff went to his oncologist on Friday for his routine chemo treatment. He always sees the doctor before the treatment. During our chat with him, he mentioned some shortness of breath and worsening of his cough. After listening to his chest, he confirmed what we suspected might be happening, the fluid on his lungs has apparently returned. He set him up for thorocentesis to be done on Monday morning, followed by a CT scan. He will then look at the scan to see if the cancer is again growing. (The presence of the fluid suggests that it could be.) If that is the case, then it means Jeff's chemo is no longer working and they will change his chemo. The side effects for the chemo's that are left for him to try are not good. He would once again lose his hair, but more importantly, nausea and joint pain would most likely return.
Friends, this is the miracle I am praying for, I hope you will join me: 1)that when they draw fluid from his lungs, they find very little and that it be not related to the cancer. 2)when they look at the CT scan, they not only see that the cancer has not grown but also that it is in fact shrinking or gone. 3)that our doctor (Dr. Bandheri) will understand that this is nothing short of a miracle and that a door will be opened for us to lead him to the Lord.
I know it's a big one...but it's not too big for our God. We've just returned from an awesome conference with InCharacter (a creative arts ministry school), and during one of the services we were near the front praying. Someone came from behind and began praying over our family and though I don't remember the whole prayer, they said this, "God, let their ordinary meet Your extra" and immediately the thought popped in my mind, "and let Your super meet our natural". We need a miracle. A SUPERNATURAL, EXTRAORDINARY move of God on our behalf.
Will you join us by calling our family's name out to God and petitioning Him on our behalf. Yes, I am anxious, but I am also anticipating this miracle. For the last year and a half He has been teaching me to trust Him and I do. Regardless of the outcome of Monday's test, I will continue to trust Him. But I will not let one waking moment between now and then pass without my crying out to Him for healing. Phillipians 4:6 reminds me to be anxious about nothing but to carry everything to Him. That is what I will do. Oh Lord, be merciful and just like You did in Ezra 8:23, hear my prayer and answer your servant... and exchange my anxiety for Your peace.
See, I am in need of the miraculous. I need Jeff to be healed. I have prayed and prayed and prayed. I've researched and studied, I've hung on the doctor's words (and his body language). But I find that what I need is for God to step in and do what no man can do. To simply touch my husband and heal him.
All my life, I have believed in miracles. I've seen them happen. I've prayed for barren women to have children, and just a few weeks later learned that they were carrying a baby. I've prayed for headaches to go away and they have. When I was in college, I prayed for God to do the miraculous and get my college bill paid...He provided every penny plus 50 cents that I could buy a Coke with. I've seen him heal sick people, deliver people from addiction, restore marriages that were impossible to restore, and provide for needs in ways that could not be explained in human terms. So you cannot convince me that miracles are a figment of my imagination. I've seen them with my own eyes.
Right now, I need one! Jeff went to his oncologist on Friday for his routine chemo treatment. He always sees the doctor before the treatment. During our chat with him, he mentioned some shortness of breath and worsening of his cough. After listening to his chest, he confirmed what we suspected might be happening, the fluid on his lungs has apparently returned. He set him up for thorocentesis to be done on Monday morning, followed by a CT scan. He will then look at the scan to see if the cancer is again growing. (The presence of the fluid suggests that it could be.) If that is the case, then it means Jeff's chemo is no longer working and they will change his chemo. The side effects for the chemo's that are left for him to try are not good. He would once again lose his hair, but more importantly, nausea and joint pain would most likely return.
Friends, this is the miracle I am praying for, I hope you will join me: 1)that when they draw fluid from his lungs, they find very little and that it be not related to the cancer. 2)when they look at the CT scan, they not only see that the cancer has not grown but also that it is in fact shrinking or gone. 3)that our doctor (Dr. Bandheri) will understand that this is nothing short of a miracle and that a door will be opened for us to lead him to the Lord.
I know it's a big one...but it's not too big for our God. We've just returned from an awesome conference with InCharacter (a creative arts ministry school), and during one of the services we were near the front praying. Someone came from behind and began praying over our family and though I don't remember the whole prayer, they said this, "God, let their ordinary meet Your extra" and immediately the thought popped in my mind, "and let Your super meet our natural". We need a miracle. A SUPERNATURAL, EXTRAORDINARY move of God on our behalf.
Will you join us by calling our family's name out to God and petitioning Him on our behalf. Yes, I am anxious, but I am also anticipating this miracle. For the last year and a half He has been teaching me to trust Him and I do. Regardless of the outcome of Monday's test, I will continue to trust Him. But I will not let one waking moment between now and then pass without my crying out to Him for healing. Phillipians 4:6 reminds me to be anxious about nothing but to carry everything to Him. That is what I will do. Oh Lord, be merciful and just like You did in Ezra 8:23, hear my prayer and answer your servant... and exchange my anxiety for Your peace.
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