Six months

It's been six months since you left this world and made heaven your home.   I miss everything about you.   Somedays, it just doesn't feel real...then others, it's so real I can't breathe.   I know that you are beyond happy there.   It makes staying here very hard for me.  You know I never did like to let you take trips without me!

Yesterday, the reality of your absence was so heavy.   I went to church like usual, but during the pre-service prayer time, I was suddenly overwhelmed with grief.   I looked at the stage and could see you standing there, with your feet hanging over the edge...scaring me like you always did.   I heard your laugh and caught that little wink that was meant just for me.   Then the tears began to fall.   Those days are gone.  

Zac is settled at inCharacter now...you would be so proud of him.   He is excited about the plan God has for him.   Our prayers have been answered...our prodigal has returned.   Doran drove to Tampa for the first time this weekend...I was a nervous wreck!   Remember the first time Zac drove in heavy traffic and how terrified we were?   Yeh, didn't get any better with the second one!   Oh, and speaking of our kids driving...Abbi will be 15 next month and getting her permit.  I thought the deal was that you would teach her to drive!!!   Lord, help me with this one!   We drove around the church parking lot about 900 times the other day (at a top speed of 5 mph), so she could get familiar with how a car works.   You would have smiled...by about the 10th lap she was singing and telling me how to drive!  You owe me!

Our new pastors are settling in...you would love them.    Sometimes he reminds me of you.   He tells it like it is, in love.   You would be pleased.   The new nursery wing is almost complete.   It's going to be beautiful.   Things are changing around Medart Assembly (just as you would've wanted) but your presence still remains on many levels.  

I am working on my credentials.   Hopefully, I will be a credentialed minister with the Assemblies of God within the next month or so.   I looked at your mantel again the other day...soon I will have one of my own, I only wish you could place it on my shoulders.   And there are so many questions I want to ask you about this process.    I'm having to dig for it but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.   I wish I had your brain!

I am broken, but I am not destroyed.   I have found that I can lay at the feet of Jesus and find hope and restoration there.   He is healing my heart and preparing me for the future.   A future that is even more amazing than I can imagine.    As I wept during prayer yesterday, I "laid at his feet" on your old chair and knew that not one tear was in vain...Jesus kept them all.  As I laid there and just listened to Him...His words were a soothing balm for me soul.   Peace, be still.

Thank you, for all the years that you loved me.   For the way you prepared me to face this world without you.   You taught me how to be real, how to live for Jesus everyday.    You taught me how to minister and how to study God's word.   You taught me that I could trust Him and that nothing I face is too difficult for God.   Six months seems like years.   I wish you didn't have to go, but I trust God and I look forward to our reunion in Heaven.   I love you, Jeff McFalls.    Happy Six Months in Heaven!