He makes all things new...

Several days of deep cleaning a house that I spent the last 15 years in and inhaling dust as I thumbed through old photo albums has taken it's toll on me and I find myself awake with a sinus attack at 1:30 am.   So what do I do?   Well, writing always makes me feel better so I retreated with my laptop to a dark corner of the living room to type out a few thoughts.

Here is what is on my heart tonight.   He makes all things new!   As I laid in bed, next to my new husband and just listened to him breathe, I thought about where I was this time last year.   I was laying in bed, next to my first husband, begging God to spare his life and thanking God for the wonderful man He had blessed me with.   Things didn't work out the way I planned.   Jeff didn't get healed on this side of heaven.   The grief that would follow was the heaviest thing I've ever carried and many times I wondered if it would crush me completely.

The months that followed Jeff's death were the darkest days of my life.   Then, when I saw the signs in my friend's eyes...I knew her time was coming, too.    It seemed that God had a vendetta for me.   First, He had taken my husband.   Now, He was taking my closest friend.    My grief compounded as her struggle came to an end.   How would I possibly get through this again?

But God had a plan.   I do not understand it.   I still cannot fully get my mind around it.   But I trust it.

God has made my life new again.   He has taken what was completely crushed and broken, and He has crafted something beautiful and valuable with it.   He has given me a new family...not one to replace the old, but one that compliments the old.   He has made the old new.

When Mike and I realized that God was putting us together as more than friends, we both were dumbfounded.   Neither of us expected anything more than friendship and for God to turn what we had into romantic love seemed impossible.   But God makes all things new.   He turned our grief and our brokeness into something beautiful and new.

Tonight, a year later, I lay in bed.   Next to my husband.   My new husband.   I placed my hand on him and began to pray over him as he slept.  I thanked God for the man he is.   God has made him new, too.   I thanked God for this man who is patient with me.   This man who fears God and loves Him.  This man who loves me, both with passion and with tender patience.   This man who loves my children and the rest of my family.  This man who is wise and good and hardworking and honest.    He has worked so hard for the past week...not because it is profitable for him...he has done it all for me.   He has sacrificed for me.   Sacrificial love.    Something I am not sure either of us were truly capable of a few years ago.   Now, we have been made new.

Our "light and temporary trials", although they seemed heavy and infinite at the time, have now been made new.   God has turned those struggles into something that only He could envision.   And He isn't finished.   That's the amazing part.   He is still making us new.    He is still unfolding an amazing plan that we couldn't handle if He showed it to us all at once.

I don't know what you are going through.   But no matter how dark or heavy it seems, remember that God will make it new.   It won't be the way you expect.   No, His plan if far better than what you can imagine.   Just hold on.   I promise, God will make all things new.   And when He does, you, like me, will be speechless...in awe of His wonder.   You can trust Him...He is trustworthy and true!

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”   Revelation 21:5