A new morning!

The sun will be up soon and as I sit here in the pre dawn moments, I am thinking about all that happened yesterday.   We honored my friend with a beautiful celebration service that pointed people to God.   She is happy and healthy and as our pastor said, would be downright mad at us if we brought her back.

But now to carry on without her.   I've been here before.  As a matter of fact, I don't think I've left this place of grief just yet.   Missing Jeff and now missing Anne, will be part of my daily routine for quite some time.  Walking out life down here, when so many of the ones you love are in Heaven.   To be honest, I used to think it was something the elderly had to deal with...now I understand that grief doesn't have an age limit.

Now, nearly 8 months after Jeff's passing, I find myself grasping for specific memories of him.   I want to remember every detail of his face.   I want to remember his voice, I want to remember his eyes, his touch, his laugh.    Sometimes it is so strong in my memory it is almost as if he is in the room with me...other times it seems like I am trying to catch air in a fishnet.

This morning, I woke thinking of Anne...trying to remember her voice.   Her laugh.  The crazy things she would say that made no sense but still made me laugh.   She hasn't been gone a week yet.  This time last week, we sat and talked...she was weak, but she was here.   I prayed that the Lord would never let me forget the details of my friend.

As the sun set on Jeff and Anne, I have to say those were the two most spectacular sunsets I've ever witnessed.   Brilliant in rays of love and joy.   Darkness followed as they left this world...not for them, but for those of us left behind.   The world isn't as bright without them.

But I am thankful this morning that we have the promise of a sunrise.   In God's timing, He will send light again into our lives.   Beautiful colors and calm peace.   As much as I love a beautiful sunset, it is the sunrise where I find myself in awe of God and feeling closer to Him.

I do not understand and will not attempt to predict when it will happen, but I trust my God.  The same God that Jeff and Anne trusted.   There will come a day when He will wipe our tears and awe us by the beauty of a new morning.

I was interrupted as I wrote this blog for just a bit.   I had to leave and take Abbi to school.  This is how cool God is.   As we left the house, it was completely dark outside.   Approaching the intersection before Abbi's school, I was about 10 cars back in line...traffic was slow today.   I noticed the sky...dark but I could see the outline of clouds...a ripple effect, almost like waves.   Then slowly (yet quickly at the same time), the clouds began to change, from grey to light pink to brilliant pink.  Then almost a bright orange.   Here come's the sun.   All that, before I could make it to her school just a few hundred yards away.

God reminded me that the very thing He had laid on my heart to write about in the wee morning hours of darkness, would be even more brilliant when He brings it to pass.  It will take my breath away, just like that sunrise did this morning.   This period of darkness will not last forever...morning is coming.   Oh what a morning it will be.

I believe the very first blog I ever wrote was about waiting with anticipation for the sunrise...for me, the sunrise will never get old.   I will always approach it with the expectancy of a child on Christmas morn.   Lord, I don't know what tomorrow holds for me, but I trust You and I know that You are good.   Whatever it is, I will look for it with great expectancy.   Anticipating it's arrival.   Here comes the Son!