The Problem with Mountain Tops

Yesterday was a great day!  It was Mother's day, the day we celebrate all that mom's do and all that they are.   My children were so sweet, giving thoughtful gifts and loving on me all day long.   It was a beautiful mountain top kinda day.  One in which I felt that I was on top of the world.

The problem I have found with mountain tops, however is that they are surrounded by valleys.  Although one would love to stay on the mountain top, life usually happens in the valley.   I love to travel to the mountains, but I've noticed something in my travels...the stores, commerce centers are always located down below...in the valley.   Oh, you may find an occasional shop at the submit, but you will pay twice the price there...life happens in the valley.

When you are on the mountain top, you can see everything...for miles and miles.   You can see the valleys below and see how beautiful they really are.   But when you are in the valley, it's hard to appreciate the moment...all you see then is the mountain top...teasing and taunting you...saying, "Don't you wish you were here?"

Something else about mountains and valleys...the higher or steeper the mountain, the lower the valley.  That's just the way it is... still very beautiful but the ups and downs can be hard to navigate at times.

Today, I woke up to find myself in a valley.   Reality is setting in.   He's not coming home...he is already there.   I'm sure this is a reality that I will encounter over and over again, but today, it is just there...      Welcome to the valley.

The air seems heavier here...and it rains more.   But I must remind myself that things tend to grow better in the valley.  Is that what I'm doing now?   Growing?   Today it doesn't feel that way...it just feels like I'm being smacked upside the head with a reality that I'd rather not call my own.   He's not coming home.

I can hold on to the memories but my dreams for the future are gone.   Like chaff in the wind, blown away, never to be fully realized.   I vascilate between thankfulness for 25 wonderful years with a man who loved me unconditionally and great sorrow that I have now lost my love.   I want to heal and not get stuck in my grief...I know that Jeff would not want that for me...but in the valley sometimes the air is so thick and it seems that I will be here forever.

All my life, I've thought of valleys as a place of rest.   Peaceful and serene.    But this valley doesn't feel that way at all.   Maybe it's because I've never been in the valley alone.

One of my favorite places on Earth is Ecuador.   Jeff and I did several mission trips to Ecuador and I often kidded him and said that when we retired I wanted to move there.   He would then remind me that we were pastors...and we weren't retiring.

Ecuador has the most beautiful mountains.   I loved riding through those mountains and looking down the hillside.   There would be these little shacks scattered all along the mountain range.   Little shanties that were all about the size of a shed here, but not made as well.   I remember thinking, these poor people, they live this far out and to get anywhere they have to walk for days or rely on the goodness of other people.   Then, on about my 3rd or 4th trip there, I began to find myself a little envious of those very people.    They get to enjoy the beauty of the valleys all the time.  I wondered if they enjoy it or they are dying to get out of there.    I found myself just wanting to "hole-up" somewhere deep in one of those valleys and never return to civilization again.

So today, when I realized that I am again in a valley, I asked God to help me see the beauty in this.   Yesterday, I was on the summit, but today I need to learn to appreciate the valley and all it has to offer.   Lord, help me to learn to love whatever place you have me in.   Whether it is a valley or mountaintop, or somewhere in between...help me to flourish there.  Help me to look for the Lily of the Valley when I am there.   Give me glimpses of the mountain top when I am in the valley, but help me see the beauty of the valley when I am on the mountain.