Today was a milestone in our journey. Jeff had his last chemo treatment. Our doctor seemed very pleased with his progress. He listened to his lungs and noted that they sound wonderful. He told Jeff that he wants him back on the golf course, playing as much as possible, as soon as possible. Music to my husband's ears (and honestly, it was quite melodious to me as well). But as this day came to an end, I realized that this is where faith must really kick in.
Up til now, we have been actively doing everything we know to do to beat this monster called cancer. We've done radiation, chemo, dietary changes, vitamin supplements, and even Xango juice. I've researched until I feel that I could apply for med school...well, maybe for something in the medical field!!
But now, we must wait. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers said it best...the waiting is the hardest part (and yes, I had to Google to see who sang it...Jeff is already in bed and my friend Katie, who would be my other "phone-a-friend" for music trivia has moved off to Chicago!) Seriously, I suspect that this is the part that the majority of cancer patients struggle with the most. Waiting to see if the treatment worked.
Well, today, God has given me several confirmations that I can trust Him...He's got this. As our world watched the debacle of an inauguration, I was once again reminded that God is in control. Even though there were outright attempts made to leave Him out of today's celebration, I am reminded that He is sovereign and that He is still God even when governments turn away from Him. Man cannot control Him. And Satan and all His schemes is not even close to being a match for Him. I know it may sound strange that I would find any encouragement in today's events...but I did. I believe I was encouraged because it reminded me that God's word is true. In John16:33 Jesus says “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Whether it is political unrest or cancer or financial collapse...that is a promise that I can cling to!!
God gave me another scripture today..But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31. As I read that, I knew that God was preparing me for the wait. It's time to wait on Him...to trust Him...to HOPE in Him (as the NIV says). And as we do, He will renew our strength...I believe He is healing every cell in Jeff's body. It says that we will mount up with wings like eagles. Eagles soar...have you ever watched one in flight? They soar high...up above the worries and concerns of earth. And eagles have large, strong wings...I believe that what He has for us is unbelievably majestic and graceful...like the wings of an eagle. They shall run and not be weary...reminds me that we are in a race and that the prize that awaits us is worth every step...let us not grow weary! Dr. Bandheri told Jeff today...I'd like to see you running that golf course...I believe it's possible! They shall walk and not faint...many times, in this walk, we have felt like we would faint. Yet, even when it seemed we couldn't take another step, we could feel His gentle encouragement and His promise that He wouldn't let us faint. Sometimes, it came through a God sent doctor, who placed his hand on his patient and prayed to a God who could do what man was incapable of doing. Sometimes, it came through a meal, or a card, or a gift, or a phone call, or a note written by a sweet little girl. But the encouragement always came...and the fainting never did.
So now the waiting begins...I won't promise that I won't worry from time to time. I'm sure it will get me at times. Cancer patients have a term they use for the time leading up to the rescans...they call it scanxiety. Well, all I can says is that when I feel it, I plan to give it to God. He says, "Cast all your cares on me..." That's an offer I plan to take Him up on.
Please keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks. I will continue to post...I'm not out of words yet!!! (Ha! Just when you thought it was safe!!!) Believe with us for this miracle. We serve a wonderful, mighty God...nothing is impossible for Him. Teach me, Lord...Teach me, Lord, to wait.
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