October 4, 2012
Maybe it was the rain, maybe I was just tired, maybe a little of both, but yesterday was one of those emotional days for me. Not the breakdown in tears kind that I've had randomly throughout this ordeal but just the gamut of feelings and thoughts that I had to wrestle my way through with prayer. I find that those things tend to hit me in waves and really are not dependent on anything happening around me...just a torrent of feelings that I have to take to my Father and let Him help me sort through them.
Yesterday, the emotions were familiar. I've been there before. About a year ago God began a work in me. All my life, I have battled fear. I know, everyone battles fear, right? Well, this was a fear that crippling kind of fear and I knew it wasn't from God. He has not given us a spirit of fear! So a little over a year ago He began to root out this fear and set me free from it. The process was painful because the roots were deep. I was comfortable with my fear (it had been with me all my life) and so many times I resisted the work that God was trying to do in me. Still, He was faithful and I had a breakthrough about 3 months ago, realized that this fear that had held me captive for years, no longer had a grip on me. Through God's word, I had been set free.
Whatever tactics satan finds successful, you can bet that he will keep in his arsenal. Yesterday, he pulled that old familiar one out on me again. And for a couple of hours, he had me...but he didn't plan on me using the weapons in my arsenal to fight back...prayer and the Word of God. So that is exactly what I pulled out when fear began to creep in. I began to rehearse scripture, Psalm 91, Isaiah 41:10, Genesis 28:15, Jeremiah 29:11, Jeremiah 30:17...just to name a few. It wasn't long before my spirit began to win again! Then I began to cry out to God...I carried my complaints to Him...I poured out my heart to Him. And He met me there! Little by little, a song replaced the fear.
A friend caught me online and asked how I was doing and when I shared that with him, he said, "then I'd be singing it at the top of my lungs!" He's right and that is exactly what I intend to do!
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10.
"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." Ps 34:4
And here's the song (singing it loud enough to annoy the dog):
Jesus at the center of it all
Jesus at the center of it all
From beginning to the end
It will always be, it's always been You, Jesus - Jesus.
Jesus at the center of my life
Jesus at the center of my life
From beginning to the end
It will always be, it's always been You, Jesus - Jesus.
Nothing else matters
Nothing in this world will do
Jesus, you're the center
Everything revolves around You, Jesus you.
And with that simple little song, He calmed my fears and set me back on solid ground. I will stand firm in the knowledge that my God will supply ALL my needs and that I need not fear what tomorrow holds...I know the one who holds tomorrow!
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